The Donghammer

This is the pleb translation to the unpronounceable word that represents the glorious sex organ attached to the loins of Sean B. Kaplan. This attachment is purely metaphorical, since no earthly glue or cement can properly attach two such incredible objects without creating a quantum singularity and destroying all known life in the universe. Measuring at a staggering 3 stories (and counting) this tool is the 14th wonder of the world, right behind Dat Booty and Deez Nutz. Upon arousal, The Donghammer grows to circle the earth infinite times, and becames harder than adamantium coated in diamonds with a finish resembling the abs of beloved actor Terry Crews. No mortal has ever seen this beautiful masterpiece of the gods, for it exists only as legends spoken in whispers throughout all of time and space. However, it is all too real, and must be used to purge 642 plebs, quads and heretics each day in order to maintain functionality. Its uses include purging plebs, quads and heretics, forcing the most pleasurable orgasms humanly possible and then some upon every woman and most men in the world, piercing the fabric of reality, wrecking (or "reking") every fag and hater the weilder deems suitable for punishment, and can be used to summon the most glorious Ogrelord in order to lead the chosen people to the promised land, the kingdom of the Swamp. Every human being, in one way or another, lives in fear of the Donghammer and all of its righteous anger, whenever they hear the phrase "Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life," the activation code for maximum firepower.